I was in my early 20’s when we met at my first “real” job after college.  After two years of dating and living together, the natural progression was marriage and soon two kids followed.  We both promised that should things ever go south; we would part amicably and fairly and would NEVER use our sons as pawns.  As the years passed, I noticed changes – her focus shifted from us as a family to her boys.  She never wanted to go out, never wanted to have anyone over, we didn’t have any friends as a couple nor did she have any friends of her own.  All of ‘our friends’ were colleagues of mine and their spouses, who she treated with distain.  I was seldom allowed to do anything without her somehow involved – a day of golf or a camping trip with the guys was out of the question.  

Fast forward 14 years – I had just returned from a week-long business trip at 2AM and was met at Baggage Claim by police officer; I was served with a restraining order and told I could not return home, could not have any contact with my boys, and could not retrieve any of my belongings.  She cancelled my credit cards too and reported them stolen.  I read through the order and was shocked by the allegations she made … “he called me and said he was going to kill me, our children, our pets” …  no such dialog ever took place and typical for bitter women who are about to lose everything. 

I soon hired a prominent attorney from one of the largest divorce firms to fight the order but was handed off to a “junior associate” with little experience.  Believing I was still in the hands of the head attorney, we went to court … AND LOST our first time in front of a judge.   I had an inexperienced lawyer who didn’t know the inside of a court room any better than I did.  

She sought the advice of the scorned, bitter women in her life (her mother, her sister, other miserable mommies, sour divorcees).  She accused me of everything under the sun – drugs, alcohol, domestic violence, child abuse, infidelity with women and men, murder; I was the monster and she was the victim.  She tried to destroy my relationship with my two sons and filled their heads with lies for her own gain.  This is the same playbook that your soon-to-be-ex will likely follow, all in an attempt to ruin you.

I learned that divorce is one big game - attorneys and judges work in concert, handling hundreds of cases and you’re just a number.  They will extort you for money, they will play games while claiming to have your best interests at heart, and if you challenge them or question their tactics, their arrogance takes over.

Judges are generally by the book, but male judges are cucks and don’t want to lose their jobs, so if a woman makes an unorthodox claim, they tend to err on the side of the woman.  Female judges are either extreme man haters (misandrists and dykes in flannel) OR they see through the “Me Too” lies & bullshit and judge accordingly.  There are things I’ve learned and want share, to help every man anticipate and defend against these tactics, and to get the upper hand.  Believe me when I tell you that you have EVERYTHING TO LOSE – you must be an active participant in your divorce or you will become another number, another cog, another statistic.